Just like you, I lie on my bed, waiting for sleep to come to me. And just like it happens with you, it doesn’t want to come to me. You and I, are cursed with sleepless dreams. Eyes wide, heart beating wild, stomach churning and feet tapping, you and I wait. Wait for the day when peace will wash over us and leave us still. However, like you, I have fallen in love with this pounding wildness. This anxiety has turned into a sumptuous home for me, I feel like a foreigner when for a moment, stillness grips me and I lose myself. Only when I get caught in the whirlwind of my dreams, do I find myself.
Shhh. I know you are scared. So am I. The lonely path to our dreamland isn’t bright and shiny. Though, can you see the sun at the end of the road? No? Try squinting your eyes. A little more. Perfect. Though your dreamland and mine are different, I am sure both look like the Garden of Eden. Mine seems more like the surreal sunset they show in the movies, with yellow bulbs lighting up the path, a table and a chair in the corner, a shelf of books, a diary and a pen.
Like you, I have lost my way. More times than I can count on my fingers. And it has always been so dark around. And you and I, we grope for the familiar path to our lit-up La La Land. We fall and we doze off. We rise, shaking and sweating. We find a new path and suddenly it’s not dark anymore. We suddenly realise that getting lost was only good. And we fall in love with the unpredictable Darkness. Maybe, the unpredictability has become our friend.
The closer I inch towards my Dreamland, the slower I want to go. Because, like you, I am enjoying this. All of this. The restlessness, looking at my Sun from a distance, dreaming about reaching there. These dreams feed me with an energy that nothing else can. They torture me like mirages torture a thirsty man. But the scorching throat gives me pleasure. The yearning drives me crazy and I like the crazy.
I am a step further than I was yesterday. A tiny bit closer. But I celebrate. Like you, I rejoice in every step I take because we know it was a difficult one. Every step is like fighting our way out of the marsh that drags us back, with the sole attempt to suck us in. But we both are not just dreamers, we are fighters. We kick, we struggle, we cry, we pant, we stay idle and then we fight again.
I know the world knows not of our struggle. The world knows not a thing about our dream. It stands in the corner, lurking in the dark, mocking and laughing at us. It tries to scare you and me, almost succeeding. But you know us. We don’t get easily intimidated. Because we are dreamers. We close our eyes and shut off the noisy world. The pounding heart becomes our music. The shaking body is our dance, The popping eyes are our pair of binoculars. So how does it matter if the world cares or not?
You care about your dream. I care about mine. And someday, the world will too. And some day, the crazy in us will be called a genius. Although, we both know we’d prefer to be called dreamers. Isn’t it?
-A fellow dreamer.